Attending and Understanding

Following your gaze, acting on a suggestion, or understanding why something happened in a story all involve more than hearing sound. Through back-and-forth communication, children connect language, expression, gesture, and events, gradually making sense of more complex information.

0–9 months: Bring attention into shared communication. In face-to-face interaction, children begin to attend to you and what you are talking about, learning from visible context.
9–18 months: Show understanding through response. Gaze, gesture, and action can all take part in communication before a child speaks in complete words.
18 months–3 years: Use understood language to guide action. Simple questions and suggestions become part of interaction, and children apply meaning to what is happening now.
3–5 years: Understand longer, more relational information. Questions, stories, and explanations require children to distinguish what is being asked and connect several pieces of information.

Below are selected skills to notice at specific ages. Age is a developmental reference point; understand each skill alongside what you see in everyday life.

4 months

During face-to-face interactions, makes eye contact, or looks at people or objects when familiar adults talk or sign about objects, people, or events.

What to notice: During face-to-face communication, does your baby look toward what you are discussing with support from your gaze, voice, or gesture? Notice the attention link within a shared context, not independent proof of one word's meaning.

How to support it: Language first gains meaning through visible people, objects, and actions. Begin with what your baby already attends to, use a clear gaze or gesture, wait for them to look, then respond.

Keep in mind: Avoid extended talk unrelated to current attention or treating one head turn as the sole evidence of word understanding.

6 months

During face-to-face interactions, changes focus when familiar adults talk or sign about objects, people, or events.

What to notice: When the focus of communication changes, does your baby shift toward the relevant person or object? More informative than one look is whether attention can move with the shared exchange.

How to support it: Shifting attention during communication helps children connect what they hear with its referent. Make the cue clear and the pace unhurried, confirm that your baby noticed, then continue.

Keep in mind: Avoid rapidly pointing to several targets or physically turning their head to maintain participation.

12 months

Shows understanding of the meaning of familiar caregivers' non-verbal communication and responds with facial expressions, gestures, words, or actions, such as looking at people or objects being referred to.

What to notice: When you reach, point, or use a facial cue, does your child respond in line with its meaning? Notice understanding of familiar nonverbal information without requiring a spoken answer.

How to support it: Body language and context are important supports for understanding. Keep movement and brief language consistent, respond to answers given through expression, gesture, or action, and gradually enrich the wording.

Keep in mind: Silence does not necessarily mean lack of understanding, especially when an adult cue was unclear.

Participates in joint attention with an adult by looking back and forth between the adult and object.

What to notice: Does your child look back and forth between you and an object of shared interest so communication can stay about the same thing? Notice shared attention rather than prolonged staring at an object.

How to support it: Joint attention gives language a background both people know. Follow your child's interest, describe what is changing, and wait for a return look, point, or action before continuing.

Keep in mind: Do not force eye contact or constantly introduce new objects; an exchange around one interest has value.

Points or gestures when an adult is pointing, naming, or signing about a familiar or new object.

What to notice: When you point to, name, or signal an object, does your child join through a point or another action? Notice participation in shared information, not only correct identification on request.

How to support it: A child's action shows that communication is becoming participatory rather than one-way. Receive the response, confirm who or what they mean, then add a name, use, or change.

Keep in mind: Leave time for spontaneous response instead of turning the exchange into repeated pointing questions.

2 years (24 months)

Shows recognition of words and phrases, such as by responding to simple questions.

What to notice: When answering a simple question or phrase, does your child's response fit the speaker's meaning? An action can be an answer; also consider whether they are relying only on a fixed routine.

How to support it: Understanding increasingly supports direct questions and exchanges. Use brief, clear language about real events, observe the answer, and check whether your meaning came through.

Keep in mind: Add context or rephrase when needed rather than repeatedly testing understanding or treating reluctance to answer as lack of comprehension.

2½ years (30 months)

Participates in conversations in ways that show understanding of simple sentences by following comments or suggestions with actions or behavior, such as by listening to and following one- or two-step directions.

What to notice: After hearing a one- or two-step suggestion, can your child participate in line with its meaning? If the second step is missed, consider memory load and action difficulty separately from language comprehension.

How to support it: Sentence meaning becomes useful for joining fuller daily activities. Make the request clear and purposeful, let your child try, and add explanation only as needed.

Keep in mind: Avoid stacking many instructions or equating understanding with obedience; a child may disagree while still knowing what you said.

4½ years (54 months)

Demonstrates understanding of a variety of question types, such as "Yes/No?" or "Who/What/When/Where?" or "How/ Why?"

What to notice: Does your child understand that who, where, and why questions ask for different kinds of information, and answer in the relevant direction? Knowing the correct fact is a separate matter.

How to support it: Different question forms require selecting different information from the same situation. In natural conversation, model how a question relates to its answer, clarify what is being asked when needed, and let your child express their idea.

Keep in mind: Avoid rapid-fire questions or confusing knowledge difficulty with language understanding.

Shows understanding, such as nodding or gestures, in response to the content of books read aloud, stories that are told, or lengthy explanations given on a topic.

What to notice: When listening to longer language, does your child's response connect with specific meaning in it? A nod is one cue; use continuation, action, or questions too rather than assuming a nod means complete understanding.

How to support it: Longer language requires keeping a shared theme and connecting several pieces of information. Pause naturally, use pictures, experience, or a brief restatement, then attend to how your child responds.

Keep in mind: Understanding is not proven by an adult finishing the explanation or a child repeating it word for word.

Sources and notes

Better Parenting’s child-development framework draws in part on the Head Start Early Learning Outcomes Framework: Ages Birth to Five. For this pathway, you can also review Head Start’s Attending and Understanding Effective Practice Guide. Official framework sources inform domain, sub-domain, goal, and developmental-progression terminology where applicable. Better Parenting independently organizes the parent-facing What to notice and How to support it explanations and connects them with its own activity library.

The ELOF itself is not a curriculum, assessment, or checklist. Better Parenting’s Skill Assessment and Growth Path are Better Parenting product features, not Head Start assessment tools.

Skill wording and age references on this page come from the Better Parenting child-development framework. A child may show different behaviors in different situations, so understand these examples alongside everyday experience rather than treating one activity as a judgment of an entire sub-domain.

This page helps you understand what you can observe and how you can offer support. To explore your child's current position in this sub-domain, open the corresponding Growth Path in the Better Parenting app and use the Skill Assessment.

Better Parenting Content Team | Updated September 2, 2026