Emotional Functioning

A cry, a smile, or a toy offered to a sad friend all carry emotional information. Emotional functioning helps children express their own feelings, understand others' responses, and gradually learn how to care and receive comfort. Parents can first ask what an emotion is communicating, then decide how to respond, instead of focusing only on making it disappear quickly.

0–9 months: Face and body are emotional language. Sounds and movements communicate comfort, discomfort, and interest, while adult response turns these signals into an exchange.
9–18 months: Expression is shaped by response, and concern for others begins. Children notice adult reactions and try familiar ways of responding to another child's distress.
18 months–3 years: Feelings gain names and familiar ways of coping. Words, questions, and remembered comfort help emotions become more understandable.
3–5 years: Notice more complex feelings and needs. Children move beyond happy and sad to subtler feelings such as worry or embarrassment, and offer care in more appropriate ways.

Below are selected skills to notice at specific ages. Age is a developmental reference point; understand each skill alongside what you see in everyday life.

2 months

Expresses feelings of discomfort, fear, anger, or unhappiness by crying, screaming, or through facial expressions, body movements, or gestures, often to elicit a response from a familiar adult.

What to notice: How does your baby use cries, facial expressions, and movements to communicate discomfort? Notice the function of the expression rather than assuming one cry always has one cause.

How to support it: Early emotional expression is an important way to obtain care and response. Interpret the signal using context, physical state, and what changed before it; try care or comfort, then use the baby's response to recalibrate.

Keep in mind: Do not treat crying as manipulation or a bad habit, and do not expect a more mature explanation.

4 months

Expresses feelings of comfort or enjoyment by smiling, laughing, or through facial expressions, body movements, or gestures, often to elicit a response from a familiar adult.

What to notice: What facial expressions, movements, or sounds does your baby use when comfortable or pleased? Learn their own ways of showing positive feeling rather than waiting only for a textbook smile.

How to support it: Positive feeling also needs to be noticed. Responding shows babies that their signals connect them with another person. Follow a smile, movement, or relaxed state with a warm expression and words, leaving space for a reply.

Keep in mind: Do not keep stimulating until the baby is tired or read one quiet moment as unhappiness.

Attends with interest when others show they are happy, sad, or fearful by their facial expressions, voices, or actions.

What to notice: When another person's face or tone changes, does your baby pause and attend? This is noticing an emotional signal, not yet knowing why the person feels that way.

How to support it: Emotional understanding begins with attention to expression, and familiar interaction provides practice. Let expression and tone match in real, gentle communication, respond when your baby notices, and name your feeling sparingly.

Keep in mind: There is no need to perform intense fear or sadness to test the response.

15 months

Modifies expressions according to the reactions of familiar adults, based on the child's cultural background.

What to notice: After you respond, does your child's emotional expression change in some way? Notice that expression is influenced by relational feedback, not only whether the feeling stops immediately.

How to support it: Children experience how different expressions lead to different responses and begin to adjust. Interpret emotion consistently while modeling clear, safe expression.

Keep in mind: Do not give attention only after crying stops or confuse adjustment with suppressing a feeling; the feeling itself can be accepted.

18 months

Offers something, such as a blanket, food, or a soft toy, when another child is crying or upset.

What to notice: When another child is upset, does your child try offering something familiar as comfort? Notice the caring intention, not whether they accurately know what the other child needs or succeed in comforting them.

How to support it: Children draw on their own experiences of being comforted when they try to support someone else. Model care naturally, help them notice the other person's response, and explain gently whether the offer is welcome.

Keep in mind: Do not force a favorite item to be shared or make food, hugs, or any single action the required answer.

2½ years (30 months)

Shows understanding of some emotional expressions of others by labeling the emotions or asking questions about them (verbal ways).

What to notice: Does your child use an emotion word or a question to show that they noticed another person's feeling? Look for understanding of a real expression rather than only correct matching of emotion cards.

How to support it: Emotion names help organize observations, but the same expression can occur in different situations. Consider the event and behavior, then confirm through the person's own communication; encourage questions instead of instant certainty.

Keep in mind: Avoid teaching one fixed face for each emotion.

Cope with stress or strong emotions by using strategies, such as getting a familiar toy or blanket.

What to notice: When emotion is strong, does your child begin to seek familiar support or use a strategy that helped before? Notice comfort and recovery without requiring them to do it alone.

How to support it: Moving from being comforted to trying a strategy requires repeated experience of what helps. Offer presence first, name and demonstrate useful support when the child can receive it, then gradually offer choice.

Keep in mind: A calm corner should not become isolation or punishment, and adult support can remain available.

3 years (36 months)

Uses words to describe some feelings or emotions that reflect an awareness of other people's emotions.

What to notice: Does your child use words to express feelings and mention another person's emotion in conversation? Notice whether the words refer to an actual experience, not how many emotion labels they can recite.

How to support it: Language makes feelings shareable and easier to differentiate. Name emotions naturally within everyday events, take your child's wording seriously, and add a more precise word when useful.

Keep in mind: Avoid repeatedly quizzing how do you feel or correcting vocabulary before responding to the meaning.

4 years (48 months)

Sometimes comforts others who are hurt or sad, like hugging a crying friend.

What to notice: Does your child offer comfort to someone who is hurt or sad? A hug is only one example, and care does not require physical contact when the other person does not want it.

How to support it: Comfort turns attention to another person's feeling into action, and the right form is learned through response. Model asking, staying nearby, or finding adult help, and help the child notice what support fits.

Keep in mind: Do not force contact, require them to fix the feeling, or dismiss care because it did not work immediately.

4½ years (54 months)

Begins to notice more subtle or complex emotions in self and others, such as embarrassed or worried.

What to notice: Does your child begin to notice less obvious feelings in themselves or others and relate them to the situation? Notice greater nuance, not whether every expression receives a sophisticated label.

How to support it: With experience, anticipation, worry, embarrassment, and other feelings may coexist. Offer possible words in language the child understands, listen to their interpretation, and confirm through actual communication.

Keep in mind: Allow uncertainty and do not present an adult guess as fact.

5 years (60 months)

Sometimes uses words that describe feelings without prompting, such as saying "Don't be mad" when engaged in play with other children.

What to notice: Without a prompt, does your child naturally use emotion words in interaction? The original example, don't be mad, shows spontaneous use; it does not mean the phrase necessarily comforts someone or determines how they should feel.

How to support it: As emotion words enter spontaneous communication, they can help explain needs and respond to others. Receive the intention and model language that expresses oneself while respecting another person's feeling.

Keep in mind: Do not reward a keyword alone or turn emotion language into a command for someone to stop being upset.

Often responds to distressed others with care, either by seeking out adult support or providing reassurance or support themselves.

What to notice: When another person is upset, does your child respond with concern more consistently, either by helping or finding an adult? Notice willingness to respond, not independent responsibility for another person's distress.

How to support it: Concern can grow from brief attention into more sustained, appropriate support. Model first finding out what is needed, then choosing presence, direct help, or a trusted adult.

Keep in mind: Recognize the child's caring attempt while keeping boundaries: they are not responsible for resolving another person's emotions.

Sources and notes

Better Parenting’s child-development framework draws in part on the Head Start Early Learning Outcomes Framework: Ages Birth to Five. For this pathway, you can also review Head Start’s Emotional Functioning Effective Practice Guide. Official framework sources inform domain, sub-domain, goal, and developmental-progression terminology where applicable. Better Parenting independently organizes the parent-facing What to notice and How to support it explanations and connects them with its own activity library.

The ELOF itself is not a curriculum, assessment, or checklist. Better Parenting’s Skill Assessment and Growth Path are Better Parenting product features, not Head Start assessment tools.

Skill wording and age references on this page come from the Better Parenting child-development framework. A child may show different behaviors in different situations, so understand these examples alongside everyday experience rather than treating one activity as a judgment of an entire sub-domain.

This page helps you understand what you can observe and how you can offer support. To explore your child's current position in this sub-domain, open the corresponding Growth Path in the Better Parenting app and use the Skill Assessment.

Better Parenting Content Team | Updated September 2, 2026